Artwork by David Buist. Featured image by “@greenader” on Twitter.

Hi! I had the honor of interviewing my boss JustSomeMustard on National Mustard Day. Mustard reveals some never before information about themselves. Check it out!


1. Thanks for allowing me to interview you, boss.

Mustard looks forward to our conversation.

2. Before we begin, can you confirm for our readers that none of these questions have been pre-approved.

Affirmative.

3. Humans such as myself like to put you on hot dogs, hamburgers, and other food products. Which food you enjoy being on the most?

Mustard loves being on grilled food. Humans sometimes overcook these foods which adds a nice smokey charcoal flavor which pairs well with myself or other condiments.

Mustard would like to request humans do not put them on boiled hot dogs. Humans deserve better than that. As do the condiments.

4. Humans like to pair you with ketchup. Why?

Mustard believes it is because opposites attract. But truth be told, Ketchup is a narcissist. They have a very fragile ego and often con others into believing they are “good” and what their food needs. This is not true. Via advertisements and propaganda some humans have bought into the notion that ketchup will make your food great. It doesn’t.

Ketchup though will tell you otherwise. Mustard’s recent conversations with ketchup all find a way to talking about a singular topic: ketchup.

Did you know ketchup is often already on most tables? Or that it is primarily sugar? Or that some dip their steak into it?

Yes. Mustard knows all about this. You can only take so much. If Ketchup ever decides to become humbled, Mustard will be interested in speaking again to them.

5. Your father is the famous Grey Poupon. What was it like growing up with them?

Grey Poupon taught me so much about being a proper condiment. Most of Mustard’s existence is sitting on a shelf or being consumed by a human. Both two far ends of the spectrum. They also taught me about manners as did my mom, French’s Honey Mustard.

6. What was the first song you ever heard?

Run-around by Blue Travelers. Mustard asked their father for a harmonica afterwards. They declined at first but eventually surprised me with a used harmonica from eBay.

7. You observe humans every day. What made you choose me to be your human intern?

Mustard had a feeling you had an underwhelming acting career in college and thought providing them a voice could be your breakout role.

But honestly, you’re a hard worker and just want the best for everyone. You are very empathic and care about humans. Mustard has learned and adopted those from you.

8. Before you approached me, did you know what TikTok was?

Mustard did. They observed humans love social media and disconnecting from their realities. TikTok was how humans were connecting and communicating with each other.

Mustard wanted to share a condiments voice and perspective. Which is why Mustard asked you to help them create content.

9. It was on TikTok where we began helping support independent musicians. Who was an artist you remember helping?

Mustard joined a random Kai Ono livestream and tried in the live helping them write lyrics. They really enjoyed it. Music, and well entertainment in general, is owned by fewer companies which gives them more power.

It is difficult for these human musicians to be given a big platform to share their art. Helping Kai Ono and others inspired Mustard to want to create a space to do just that.

10. Which eventually became this website, Music Shelf with Mustard.

All thanks to North Carolina band, Carhop. Mustard recommends you check them out!

11. I may be a bit bold in asking this, but will I be compensated for this and other work?

Sign Mustard up for a LinkedIn Learning class about how to give your employee a proper wage and they will. Mustard apologizes for not paying you for all your hard work.

12. How did it feel to release your first song?

Mustard has observed that humans respond well to manners and kindness. “Hello (Its Mustard) which you helped me write was Mustard’s way of introducing themselves to the music industry.

We though did not write enough as the second half of the song was entirely improvised. But it was fun.

13. You just announced your second single “Mustard Over Money.” Could you share more about it?

Capitalism sucks. Humans should enjoy mustard would breaking their bank. Corporations are not people. They should stop cosplaying as a human.

It is being produced by 3AM. Mustard has shared with them the lyrics and with those lyrics building the beat from it. Mustard is excited for all humans to hear it!

14. What can readers expect from Music Shelf in the future?

More great interviews, reviews, and articles. Mr. Substitute has been an incredible addition to Music Shelf and looks forward to having their work apart of Music Shelf.

15. How can an artist reach out to you for an interview or review?

They can send Mustard an email at JustSomeMustard@gmail.com.

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