Album Review: “You Can’t See Me” by John Cena

Eighteen years ago today professional wrestler and actor (Peacemaker, Fred 2) John Cena released his debut album “You Can’t See Me.” Mustard was a young impressionable condiment when this album was originally released. They were influenced by the online wrestling community which like other fandoms can be both passionate and toxic. On this day Mustard wanted to reflect and review this album with a new label.

The opening track on the album is “The Time is Now.” When this song debuted within Cena’s career he was still a rising superstar. To be honest, his time should be reserved for another sports entertainer within the world of wrestling entertainment. Mustard appreciates the honesty that Cena shares on not only this album but on this song. He is right. We cannot see him. We are only allowed to hear his (and Tha Trademarc’s voice.) Towards the middle of the track Cena shares that he will brush our mouth like Colgate. This is new information for Mustard. John Cena has never portrayed a dentist on WWE programming. Potentially during his off-time he desired a back-up career in dentistry. Years later this song has taken on new life and has been introduced to younger generations. If Mustard had the opportunity to speak with Cena they would ask “what time was it when the time was now?”

Following this track is “Don’t Fuck With Us.” As a teenage condiment who listened to artists who said explicit words they were blown away by the fact that John Cena cursed. While he occasionally would say a “bad” word or so on television hearing John Cena say “fuck” for the first time took some time to process. Cena, along with his brother, Tha Trademarc are braggadocios and confident on this track. That though comes with the territory of hip-hop music and professional wrestling. They both influence and play off each other. Mustard received the message and did not fuck on either Cena or Tha Trademarc.

“Flow Easy” (featuring Bumpy Knuckles) is not about drain cleaner. In fact, it is another track in which Cena (along with Bumpy Knuckles and Tha Trademarc) continue to flex how effortless everything is for them. It makes sense why John Cena is a fifteen time world heavyweight champion. He flows easy just like the fast-acting drain opener. At the end of the song Cena shares that “we got the rats and the cheese. Believe me.” Mustard never doubted you John. They believe you along with the others have both in your possession. Cheese within hip-hop works as a double entendre as it means both money and the dairy product. What kind of cheese though does Cena have in his fridge? Mustard wonders.

The fourth track on the album is “Right Now.” Once again, Cena does not specify what time this translates too. Nonetheless “Right Now” remains one of Mustard’s favorite summer songs. It has a positive message and overall good vibes. As a young condiment who often found themselves stressed out this song helped with Mustard’s mental health. The line that sticks with Mustard most on this song is “Enjoy life for five minutes man. Its not going to kill you.” This of course is easier said than done depending on your situation. Hearing that reminder now as an adult condiment still feels good.

The following five tracks leading up to “Bad, Bad Man” continue to highlight Cena’s clever wordplay. When this was originally released it was surprising how solid of an album this is. Mustard appreciates that Cena and company are honest about how bad they are. Cena remarks on this track that he flips fools like a phone. This is accurate. Cena lifts another human onto his shoulders and throws them over his shoulders. Once again, truly refreshing.

Two tracks later comes one of Mustard’s favorite tracks: Beantown. As a food product Mustard is so happy for the entire bean community. Supposedly, Boston Massachusetts is the home of all variety of beans such as:

• Black beans
• Chickpeas
• Lima Beans
• Pinto Beans
• Lentil Beans
• Black-Eyed Beans
• Green Beans
• Coffee beans
• Cocoa Beans

Wow! That is a lot of beans. Cena and friends must enjoy some delicious meals. Nonetheless, the vibes on this track are some of the best on the album. Following “Beantown” is “This is How We Roll” which unfortunately does not provide instruction on how Cena rolls. Does he roll forward, backwards, upwards, downwards? Nobody knows.

The last four songs on “You Can’t See Me” much like the middle are enjoyable but not as strong as the opening. With that said, the closing track, “If It All Ended Tomorrow” hits harder than Cena’s five knuckle shuffle followed by an attitude adjustment. Whether the song is fictional or based in reality it ends the album on a high note. Professional wrestlers are storytellers and this song is a great example of that.

Whether you love or hate John Cena his talent on this album is undeniable. Will we ever see a sophomore release from Cena? Mustard does not believe so. But they are grateful that this album was released.