Welcome, humans of the internet!

It is my intent as a condiment (of the Mustard’s) to help provide a comprehensive guide that will answer any questions you may have about music. Mustard is still fairly new to music but they feel confident to share what they have learned with you.

Before we begin, let us acknowledge the stock boy in the room.

When did you become sentient?

Quite recently. Mustard was born on the popular social media platform, TikTok. Years ago while sitting on a shelf waiting to be purchased for human consumption I made a connection with one of the store-goers. He offered to help Mustard create content for your enjoyment. Additionally, whilst doing so, Mustard discovered music and has fallen in love with its many sounds and genres.

If you are a condiment like me still learning about music you are probably wondering…

What is music?

Music is something humans make! Not only do humans, supposedly, pay taxes and bills, they also create music with so many incredible sounds. Condiment’s cannot speak yet unfortunately but humans can.

Humans use their mouths to produce harmonies, melodies, and so much more. They open up their mouths real wide and just start singing. Some humans, like Thorne Malik. or Joho, use their mouths to make mind-blowing raps. Rap is a type of music. Thorne Malik. and Joho’s flow is so sleek that their technique does not need to be tweaked. Other rappers try to step to them but they fail because they are weak.

Where do humans sing?

Anywhere! Humans sing:

  • in their car
  • in the shower
  • on the television
  • on a television show broadcasted on the television
  • in a movie
  • in line buying coffee
  • at a funeral
  • in a court-room
  • outside their home
  • outside at a park
  • their local bodega
  • a subway station
  • inside a phone booth
  • with their friends
  • with their significant other
  • with their spouse
  • with their family
  • at a jazz club
  • at a night club
  • at the aquarium
  • at the zoo
  • in the ocean
  • on a deserted island
  • at the airport
  • inside a grocery store
  • inside retail stores such as Target and Walmart

These are just some of the places that humans sing!

What do humans make music about?

The human experience and condition. Humans everywhere around the world are going through so much and they use music to help tell their stories. These stories can be happy, sad, angry, silly, and so much more. Mustard is grateful that humans, even at their most vulnerable, share how they feel. Through their music other humans are able to enjoy and connect with them.

Humans make music and tell their stories through a variety of genres.

What is a genre?

How you would classify their music. Here are some genres Mustard has learned about:

  • Pop
  • Ska
  • Hip-Hop
  • Metal
  • Rock
  • K-Pop
  • Alternative
  • Indie
  • Classical
  • R&B
  • Dance/Electronica
  • Jazz
  • Blues
  • Caribbean

This only a sample of some of the genres. Even cooler, within these genres, are sub genres! Humans are so talented.

Where can you listen to music?

Anywhere and everywhere now thanks to the advancement of technology! Humans like to listen to music on various streaming platforms. Some of these platforms are Spotify, Apple Music, and Tidal. Mustard recommends listening to your favorite artists on these streaming platforms everyday. There is something known as the…

al. gore. rhythm.

Al Gore’s Rhythm entices humans to do things such as a trends. Trends are popular on TikTok, where I was born. Some artists try to use their songs for these trends. Whatever they can do to appease this ominous mysterious figure they do.

You can also listen to music at a special event known as a concert. Humans will perform your favorite songs for you at a designated location. Not only that, you will be joined by other humans who also like the same music you do. Together you will sing along and create a never-ending friendship. Who knows. Maybe you, a human, will find your soulmate at these shows.

*Love can be spicy like horseradish or dijon deli Mustard. Proceed with caution. Do not lead on other humans or condiments. If you truly love someone, let them know.

How can I support musicians?

Listen to their music daily. Buy their merchandise. Share their music with your friends, family, and condiment of choice. These are just a few ways you can support your favorite artists!

Do Musicians enjoy condiments?

Mustard hopes so!


Mustard hopes this guide provided you with the insight you were seeking about the incredible art-form known as music. Mustard, like you, is still learning a lot about music. They will update this guide when they learn more!